Women and Health
Blog Name: Women and Health
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A blog on health and women's issues.
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6 Typical Characteristics of Healthy and Long-Term Relationships
Many people are cautious and even shy when it comes to love. No one can blame you for that, because the statistics on relationships today are not encouraging at all. Everyone wants their relationship to last forever, but at the same time, they always have a doubt.
If you know what the secret of a long relationship is, then the ease of your relationship can overcome all difficulties, but can you solve this secret?
Contrary to how you condition yourself to think, love takes longer than you think.
According to a study conducted in 2012, 40 percent of couples who have completed 10 years of their marriage say that the love between them is still intense. According to the same study, 40 percent of women and 34 percent of men who have been married for more than 30 years say they are still deeply in love with their partner.
What you call a relationship is actually a risk you take, but there are some signs that signal that the relationship will last. In other words, you do not need to get advice from others for a long relationship in order for the relationship to be permanent. When you read the six items below, you will have found the answer to the question of what to do for a long-term relationship.
Here are six typical characteristics of successful and long-lasting relationships:
1. Relationships Are Built on Forgiveness
How do you and your partner deal with a conflict in your relationship? The problem isn't the misunderstandings in relationships, it's how you deal with or fail to deal with issues like this. A healthy relationship does not try to reduce or eliminate conflicts, because in healthy relationships, there must be conflict between the parties.
“If you want a healthy relationship, you also need to know that you have chosen for yourself a series of problems that you have to deal with with the partner you choose.”
There is no partner in the world with whom you would not fight, annoy, and complain from time to time. It's definitely a good sign to have a fight every now and then. Studies show that people who have never argued for more than three years in their marriage have unhealthy relationships.
Arguing in solid and healthy relationships is not a sign of the apocalypse, it is a perfectly healthy and natural process. Happy couples focus their attention on how to solve their problems rather than attacking the other party. At the same time, after solving the problem, they forgive each other and forget about closing the issue.
“How healthy the relationship is is measured by how quickly couples get back together after conflicts.”
Couples in healthy relationships make attempts to forgive each other after their disappointments.
How to Solve Problems with a Lover?
Unhealthy relationships are often those in which the couple either makes no attempt or consistently fails to resolve conflicts and problems.
Doesn't your anger subside towards your partner after a fight? Do you continue to hold grudges even as a result of misunderstandings? Are you pushing important issues into yourself instead of talking? Or do you shut down emotionally when your partner cheats on you?
In order to re-establish the emotional bond between each other and put your relationship back on track, your inner desire should make you put aside the emotions you're feeling at the moment.
People often choose between being right or being happy. Holding grudges will only lead to resentments that will ruin your relationship.
The problem isn't what you fight about, it's how you fight about what.
2. Relationships Are Always in Search of Adventure
Boredom is the biggest obstacle to a long-term relationship. After being married for a while, couples begin to think that their lives are in a repetitive, easily predictable, uninteresting and boring cycle.
With career, children, and other problems, it's getting harder and harder to maintain a bond with your partner.
Research shows that couples who are still deeply in love with each other are those who are constantly looking for new activities to do together. New events are exciting and help couples strengthen their bond and ignite the spark in a relationship. Constantly seeking adventure in your relationship helps you experience these feelings constantly.
What to Do When Tired of Relationship?
Studies show that couples are happier in their relationships after taking part in exciting activities.
The new experiences you will experience activate the reward system in your brain. New things cause your brain to release dopamine and norepinephrine. These hormones are also the hormones released when you first fall in love. Doing exciting things together helps you experience the same excitement you had at the beginning of your relationship.
3. Relationships Are Built On Intimacy
Marriage therapists state that couples who are not happy in their sexual life will have problems in their relationships, and this problem may even lead to separation. Couples' sex lives are vital for an exciting and healthy relationship.
The interesting thing is, the more sexuality you have, the more enthusiastic you become about it. At the same time, the opposite is true: the less sex you have, the less willing you are and the weaker you feel for each other.
Sex fuels the love between you. During sex, your brain releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is also known as the commitment hormone, and happy couples post about 74 sexual issues on average every year.
What Happens Without Sex in Marriage?
If you think you're not having enough sex, it can be comforting to know that it's not just about sex. Oxytocin is released not only in the most intimate moments, but also when you touch, hold hands, hug and even maintain eye contact for a long time. Studies show that immediately after sex, men's oxytocin levels increase by 500 percent.
4. Relationships are Built on Trust
Trust is the most important determinant of a long-term relationship. If there is no trust between couples, that relationship will not be healthy and strong.
Is your partner reliable? Can you trust him?
What kind of person are you to your partner? Are you reliable? Do you hide some of your expenses from him? Do you have any other relationships that your partner doesn't know about? Do you hide your true feelings from your partner?
Couples with strong relationships do not keep secrets from each other.
What If Your Lover Is Hiding Something From You?
Don't get paranoid. You don't need to focus on the little things that your partner isn't quite honest with you yet.
You should focus on bigger things instead. Maybe he told you he was a lawyer, but you learned that he was actually doing another job. Or he told you that he loved children very much, but then he began to insist on never wanting a child.
If you don't have faith or trust in your partner, your partner will never believe in himself.
5. Relationships Are Shaped Around a Shared Future Plan
The more similarity between couples' expectations for long-term relationships, the better. Before starting a relationship, people especially want to make sure they can maintain the values and goals they have.
Research on couples with an average marriage duration of 43 years reveals that couples are very similar to each other in their core values, interests and perspectives on life. A study conducted in 2009 proves that the happiest couples are those who are the most similar in character.
Another thing that most couples who participated in the study stated is that the relationships where the differences complement each other are only fictional relationships in the movies, and such a difference does not work for marriage.
Different studies also support that people find people who are different from them more attractive, but that such relationships are short-lived.
For long-term relationships, the more similarity there is between the couple, the more likely their relationship will be strong and healthy.
What Should the Purpose of a Relationship Be?
The common goal of the relationship should be for the couples to live in harmony with each other.
What are your goals as a couple? Do you want to start a family together? Do you want to buy a house together in the future? How many children do you want to have? Giving similar answers to such questions means that the relationship will become stronger in the future.
If you find that you somehow don't want your partner to be involved in their plans then you should take that as a sign to move on with your life without them.
6. Relationships Built on Common Vulnerabilities
Why are most people so afraid of falling in love? Why are people afraid of commitment to another? This is because they are very afraid that the other side will hurt them.
Here's an interesting fact: most people want to start a relationship but are afraid of opening up and getting hurt as a result.
Research shows that people fear getting hurt because they fear rejection. You think that if someone realizes that you are not as perfect, smart or strong as you seem, they will not love you anymore.
Unfortunately, it's impossible to have a healthy relationship without risking getting hurt. Vulnerability is the secret to creating a strong bond in a relationship. Knowing that someone loves you for who you are and loving someone else as they are is one of the most satisfying feelings in your life.
Fear of being hurt leads to self-sabotage. Your fear of hurt also prevents you from giving yourself completely to a relationship.
How Do You Know You Or Your Partner Don't Have Such Fears In Your Relationship?
To find out if you have a fear of getting hurt, simply answer the following questions:
- Are you afraid to show him parts of your personality that you think your partner won't accept?
- Does keeping a little distance from your partner make you feel safe and in control?
- Do you hesitate to talk about your true feelings and discuss different topics?
- Do you have an intense fear that your partner will betray you or abandon you?
- Do you think that you always choose the wrong partners to keep the distance between you in order to secure yourself?
Being fragile is sometimes perceived as a sign of weakness, but it's actually quite a strong trait. Being able to accept that you can be a fragile person means acknowledging how strong your character is and knowing how confident you are. The right person for you knows your sensitivity and will always accept you as you are.
Being fragile is actually a very attractive thing. Honest people often find people who are unique and admit that they are not perfect are more sincere.
Last word
If you want a long relationship, you have to dedicate yourself to your relationship. Remember, the neighbor's chicken is the neighbor's goose.
The biggest relationship killer is comparing your own relationship with others. Most people tend to think that other couples are prettier and happier than they are.
Happy couples, on the other hand, are not concerned with how things are going in other relationships. They only focus on their own relationships and happiness.
If you put enough effort into your relationship and give it enough time, you can easily bring your relationship to any level you want.
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